I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
