Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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