I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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