i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
