so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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