Having a random hookup so left but love u
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
