thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize