so that wasnt chicken after all
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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