Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
