Umm I'm too high to move.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
