batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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