I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
