he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
