There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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