He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
