i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
