This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
