At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
