i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
