SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
