I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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