She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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