Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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