after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
