found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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