the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
