Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
