Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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