And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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