Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So much rum. So many feels.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize