remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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