can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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