I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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