So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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