i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
