quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
