he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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