Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
