You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
