i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have fence marks all over my body
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
