Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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