Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
