I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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