Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
