I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
