Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize