I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
