So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
