I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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