I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He felt like a one man threesome
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize