If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
