meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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