Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
