I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize