____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
A bitchslap is in order.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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