next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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