I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
