windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
