he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
