I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
