I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We got so high we made milksteak
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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