drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
