I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
