A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your dad touched me again.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The air was thick with penises
I can't turn off my feet"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
