I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
