I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
